Cartoon birds

Your title here
Originally uploaded by J Gilbert

Funny video i find on the colinpowells.com

ZOMFG Weezer FTW!!111!!one ;) j/k

Weezer squeezed the whole wide internets into one music video!

Finally: Manbabies

Bill O'Reilly Flips Out on Inside Edition — DANCE REMIX

I simply can't get enough of this.

Faggy Friday 2U!

Quiet reverie... or, Jam Session!

[via]

Appalled / Aroused

La Pequeña Hillary Clinton

This dude wants to make love to his muscle.

Meanwhile, something useful: YouTube Reveals Video Analytics Tool for All Users

My "tard santa" xmas video

I just had Christmas with my friends; we drew names for a "tard santa" exchange. This is my gift to T-bone. The DVD version loops, over and over and Owwwwww!

Xmas Kitteh videoz!

Mooki flings off a blinky Santa hat:

Kiko in a bag!

Just for fun, me grooving with a santa hat.

I bow before comic genius

Missing Girl Probably Raped

Dear Phil

An idea hatched on the shores of Lake Francis, where sobriety and inhibition hold no quarter:

Sorry

Retardid policeman!

Corn Guy has landed

Quicktime

At long last, the debut of Corn Guy! This is just a sneak peak. Now you begin to see why creepy photos of a large corn-headed dude appeared in my Flickr, not to mention Cristina in a Taco Girl costume. Keep an eye on CornGuy.tv for a couple more funny videos in the near future.

Disclosure Fine Print: Chuck was totally paid to make these videos.

Mooki's Catnip Overload

Everyone please go rate and comment on the video!

Karl Rove Resigns: My video reaction

Quicktime/iPod

This breaking news brought to you by The Uptake. Please DIGG IT!

My new all-time favorite Twitter

!!Japanese pee pee+poo poo!

Hail, Satan!

Salon.com: Airbrushing the Baby

[via After School Snack]

Flight of the Conchords

It's like Pet Shop Boys meets "One Night in Bangkok" - but funnier. [via Steve G]

Has anyone seen the show yet? Must. Set. DVR.

Hillary Clinton gets racy!

Those silly Wonkette pranksters. Prince would be a sexy choice for Hillary Clinton, but she went with something more... vomitous. Celine Dion. But, I gotta give "mad props" to whomever came up with this Sopranos spoof.

Where in the world is Chuck?

Credit: Max Sparber

I'm everywhere Photoshop takes me! Join in, won't you?

What, me blog?

TypePad says this here blog has garnered almost half a million page views. Suckers!
My guess is a lot of Google surfers end up on these posts:

Pink's "Dear Mr. President" Video (hilarious comment thread)
Vincent Gallo's The Brown Bunny (sorry, no blow job video)
Hottt Paris Hilton Commercial! (tricked into watching my sweet mashup)
Blog History (finally some honest content from Blogumentary)
Godaddy CGI Sucks (#1 result for "Godaddy cgi")
Naked Friday (duh)
PARTY SLUTS (duh, part deux)

And of course, the classic, CHRISTOPHER TOLKIEN IS APPARENTLY A CHARMING AND NOBLE OLD CHAP, PRONE TO OCCASIONAL BOUTS OF STUBBORN PRICKISHNESS.

Happy NO PANTS Day!

God I love Tim & Eric so much

How to Campaign in the Age of YouTube

Why didn't I think of that? A clever take from This Just In's Hyla Matthews. I don't think the YouTube kids will go for my Citizen Journalists on the Edwards campaign trail video.

The 5 Most Obviously Drug-Fueled TV Appearances Ever

From Cracked.com - funny, funny stuff. A couple of these I'd never seen before, but this James Brown clip is still my favorite.

Okay, I take it back

So there's this big news story out today... Unfinished Tolkien work to be published in '07: Christopher Tolkien has spent the past 30 years working on "The Children of Hurin," an epic tale his father began in 1918 and later abandoned.

I found out about this story because my blog is getting absolutely hammered with hits to this post: CHRISTOPHER TOLKIEN IS A BIG PRICK. You see, that post is one of the top search results for "Christopher Tolkien." I turned off comments on that post long ago, but I'm sure a lot of people are wanting to tan my hide. Oops! That's why I'm more deliberate in my post titles these days.

My new best hero

Borat!

Please be his frend and watch funny video on the Myspaces! Also for to watch movie trailer!

Daily Mail: Bush to hold talks on Ali G creator after diplomatic row

Oh man... I dream of the day Vlog Santa causes an international "diplomatic row."

Patriotism (sorry...)

We can use a little humor on 9/11 -- right?????

Clockwork = Great Place to Work

Okay, everyone needs to see our Clockumentary video. Why does this agency video have like 80,000 views? We're way cooler than those guys.

Nerdly Exchanges

MY PRANKSTER-HEROES

Holy crap, this is hilarious. A bunch of merry pranksters dressed up in blue shirts and descended upon an unsuspecting Best Buy store. They never claimed to be employees, and (kinda) tried to answer questions if customers asked them questions. Managers and security guards freaked out, some thinking they were a cult, and called the police:

Best Buy: Agent Shafer on Vimeo

As y'all probably know, I've twice been in situations where a place of business thought it was illegal for me to film in their establishment: The Fine Line and Starbucks. What's scary is some police officers don't even know the law. All a business can do is ask you to leave if you're taking photos or video. You're not breaking any laws, unless you refuse to leave, in which case you're trespassing.

Also? Sure love the new Mac commercials featuring the Daily Show's John Hodgeman.

MY NEW FAVORITE SHIRT

4:20 on 4/20 DUDE

Too bad I don't partake of the ganja. I do feel spacey, though.

MY GOOGLE ALERT

I get Google alerts for "chuck olsen" just in case I'm making news somewhere. You never know where I'll turn up.

XMASTIME FUNNIES

Hahaha! Look, it's an unborn fetus telling jokes!
I'm totally getting a "Holy Bible - Unborn Edition" for my pregnant friends.
You're welcome.

LIBERAL COMEDIAN SUES BLOGGER

I hope I don't get sued for wearing this shirt!

TRIAL OF THE CENTURY: KEILLOR V. MNSPEAK.COM
Oh, how I've been waiting for Rex to make this public. Garrison Keillor is totally suing MNspeak.com over this t-shirt, which the t-shirt page clearly and boldly states is parody.

It's just plain sad that ol' man Garrison has to bring in his lawyers at the expense of... well, his sense of humor, and the respect of most anybody hearing about this. He can parody his own film, but nobody else can?

Obviously, nobody buying this shirt is confusing it with A Prairie Home Companion. (Note to Garrison.) Rex says he's on pretty firm legal ground. There is a close precedent in California: Starbucks sued a cartoonist over this t-shirt logo:

Rex can probably relate to that cartoonist's reaction: "It's beyond absurd... like carpet-bombing an anthill." The judge ruled his parody doesn't infringe on Starbucks' trademark. However, the judge also ruled the Starbucks logo was tarnished because of Dwyer's use of the word "whore." In the end, he was allowed to continue using and distributing the logo but not for a profit.

Long live parody!

SEE ALSO:
Pioneer Press: 'Prairie Ho' T-shirts no longer on sale
Power Line supports Rex, and they're lawyers!
MetaFilter thread
Wikipedia entry (scroll down)
Reason thread

TEEN HOMICIDE RUL3Z

Okay. The funniest thing ever [except for Stella] is Teen Homicide. It gots awkward teens in a band, and murder, and a Collegiate Rape Kit, "For life's little mishaps!" It's all on Channel 102. Check out Josh Kinberg's interview with the CH102 guys.

LAFFYTIME CHUCKIE AWARDS

Welcome Chuckies!

The reward for Most Entertaining Visual Aid for BlogumentaryGate goes to...
Jeremy of Artistic Delusions. Way to go.

The reward for Bestest Novelizationized Parody Treatment goes to... (cough) heh heh, can't get the envelope open... ahh! Jonathan of Society Dome. I like the part about the "mouthy young girl who gets her comeuppance" best.est.

[Other awards have been sent back to the factory to be reconfigured and re-misinterpreted.]

Thank you, and a Merry Evening! Somebody take my wife home, please.
I do mean your home. [laughter, applause]

And now, back to Very Serious Businessy Program.

A VOICEMAIL ABOUT NOTHING

In the spirit of BoingBoing's hilarious series of wrong number voicemails, I offer you this gem from a few years back. Enjoy!

Dude: A Voicemail About Nothing [Quicktime, 375k]

And just for laughs, Mr. Rogers sounds naughty [MP3 via karmagrrrl]

FUCK THE MEDIA - LITERALLY

seattle.craigslist.org ad

Hi. I'm a journalist. Or a reporter. Whatever word pisses you off more, I'm part of the mainstream media, the liberal media, the so-called liberal media. I am the epitome of all that is wrong with contemporary journalism.

That is why I need you to fuck me until I feel as disgraced sexually as I do professionally.

THIS SAYS IT ALL

ONCE YOU GO MAC...

...you never go back. [Quicktime, 2.6 MB]

Mac OS X Tiger is available April 19 29. I'm particularly excited about .Mac sync and the new iChat AV. Oh, and the sorely-needed iCal 2. And of course Safari RSS. Umm... Quicktime 7 with H.264. Yeah. All that stuff.

THE CUDDLY MENACE

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Watch this and more 80's Hungarian commercials.

IS YOUR MONITOR CLEAN?

KLOSTERMAN FUNNIES

Give Me Centrism, Or Give Me Death!
Loveless sold about 200,000 copies. This is the correct number of people on earth who should be invested in the concept of swirling guitars.

MMM, BACON

Just when you were ready to give up on the blessing of John Ashcroft's sweet Ozark voice.
Ashcroft & Bacon sing TRUTH [via Straight Outta Frogtown]

DAWN AND DREW ROCK

"Drew, will you stop fuckin' around with your pants?" See, Drew is wearing corduroys and Dawn is yelling at him, cuz it's noisy. So Drew takes off his pants and then they're, like, totally nudecasting!

Okay, well you really have to hear it. I haven't been that thrilled with any of the podcasts I've heard so far, but The Dawn and Drew Show is raunchy and hee-larious. "Even hot chicks get diarrhea" - this is exactly what I want from my inkernet podcast action. Not surprising from me I suppose. What is surprising is Dave "Big Daddy" Winer is a big fan and they closed out their latest show with an audio comment from him. This world is out of control, people.

Why can I buy a blowjob at Target.com?

I DID MY DOODY

NOT REFERRING TO BLOGUMENTARY

"This movie fucks you til you bleed then flips you over and kisses you so deep!"

Indie film publicist Mickey Cottrell, praising Tarnation in LA Weekly. [via The Hot Blog]

I can't wait to see it at Get Real on closing night. Jonathan Caouette will be there!

More likely pullquotes for Blogumentary:

"This movie staples your eyes open and rapes your baby. Just kidding, it doesn't actually do that."

"Like a vat of burning oil poured over my groinular area."

"Is it over yet? Awesooooooooome!"

"A film about people. People with computers. Talking. This is that film."

"I'd like to squash this 'personal media revolution' with a 'boot to Chuck Olsen's face.'"

"Put a thousand monkeys in a room with computers, and the room will smell like shitty bananas."

"If you see one film this year about shitty computer monkeys raping babies, well, that film would be better than Blogumentary."

"I'm sorry... this is a joke, right? Right?"

"President Bush's favorite film of all time. President Bush loves poopy banana monkeys."

"Sweet innocent girls everywhere - this movie has a dancing pink unicorn!"*

*Movie actually contains dancing pink unicorn

PERRY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP

More funny comics!

TOP 10 BUSH TAX PROPOSALS

Anbody gots video of Kerry on Letterman? I hear it was good.

Kerry's "Top 10 Bush Tax Proposals" are:

10. No estate tax for families with at least two U.S. presidents.
9. W-2 Form is now Dubya-2 Form.
8. Under the simplified tax code, your refund check goes directly to Halliburton.
7. The reduced earned income tax credit is so unfair, it just makes me want to tear out my lustrous, finely groomed hair.
6. Attorney General (John) Ashcroft gets to write off the entire U.S. Constitution.
5. Texas Rangers can take a business loss for trading Sammy Sosa.
4. Eliminate all income taxes; just ask Teresa (Heinz Kerry) to cover the whole damn thing.
3. Cheney can claim Bush as a dependent.
2. Hundred-dollar penalty if you pronounce it "nuclear" instead of "nucular."
1. George W. Bush gets a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.

Meanwhile: Baby Baby, It's a Wild World

Meanwhile, Part II: I'm still under the Blogumentary rock. I'll post some video tomorrow.

SWEET DRUG HERO

Jail Alone: Macaulay Culkin speeding through Oklahoma with a bag of money and weed. Good times.

SENIOR PHOTO COLLECTION

Sweet.

JESUS: Wrong for America [via BushOut.tv]

Ronnie James Dio on losing his thumb:
"It was a killer garden gnome." [via Escape from Obsession]

A new video from The Postal Service will be helmed by "Napoleon Dynamite" writer/director Jared Hess: "He talks exactly like all the characters in the movie ... He's like, 'Dude, I've got a sweet concept for the video.' "

CONSTITUTION A FAKE!

The latest typography scandal. Hancock and his cadre of extremists are sunk for sure.

BUSH CROWD BOOS CLINTON

Blogumentary has obtained an alternate recording of the controversial Bush rally where this happened:

ASSOCIATED PRESS

WEST ALLIS, Wis. - President Bush (news - web sites) on Friday wished Bill Clinton (news - web sites) "best wishes for a swift and speedy recovery." "He's is in our thoughts and prayers," Bush said at a campaign rally. Bush's audience of thousands in West Allis, Wis., booed. Bush did nothing to stop them.

Drudge has this recording of the event, wherein only cheers are heard. I give you now, Blogumentary's alternate recording. The boos are clearly audible because the microphone was in the crowd:

Bush crowd boos Clinton

NOTE to late-comers: This is a joke.

Editor & Publisher: The AP Changes "Boos" to "Ooohs" in Report on Bush and Clinton

YOU LIKE PEANUT BUTTER?

Videoblogging is exploding, and I don't talk about it nearly enough here. Jay over at Momentshowing is leading the community media revolution. Now, before we start dreaming up some utopia of enlightened citizen media - this clip comes along to bring us all down to earth. And lower.

Some of my old vlogs have disappeared after various server migrations. I reuploaded a few here for old time's sake. Enjoy!

Day in the Life of Chuck [Quicktime, 6 MB]
Chuck's Acceptance Speech [Quicktime, 6.5 MB]
Chuck Rocks [Quicktime, 4 MB]
Relaxing Snail Odyssey [Quicktime, 5 MB]

DRUNK BUSH FRIDAYS

Sure it's old news, but it's still funny!

FISHY MONKEY KITTIES!

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION SCHEDULE

6:00pm - Opening prayer
6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer
6:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers
6:45pm - New energy policy presented by Exxon
7:00pm - Canonization of Reagan

7:15pm - Additional prayers
7:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton
8:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay
8:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton
8:30pm - Stoning of the first homosexual
8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by HMO leader, Kaiser Permanente
9:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (TBA)
9:15pm - Halliburton contributes 1.4 billion to Republican party
9:30pm - Reagan elevated to savior, Holy Trinity now referred to as "the
quads"
9:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan
10:00pm - Cheney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go f*ck himself
10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea (Bush:
"Damn, the SOUTH is our ally. Oops, my bad!")
10:30pm - Burning at the stake of 16 year-old Jenny Williams, who had an
illegal abortion after being raped by her cousin
10:45pm - Dancing around the golden calf
11:00pm - Stoning of the partner of the first homosexual
11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser
11:45pm - Prayer thanking God for his wisdom in choosing Bush as president
12:00pm - Closing prayers (lasting until 2:00am)
2:00 am - Hookers arrive for all delegates

[via ??? circulating email]

Here's the actual RNC schedule.

DAILY SHOW SKEWERS SWIFTIES

Daily Show: Swift Boat Vets [Quicktime, 7 MB] Daily Show: Swift Boat Vets [Windows, 6 MB] Clinton was on, too - I can post that if y'all wanna see it.

TRANSCRIPT: DAILY SHOW "SWIFT BOAT VETS FOR TRUTH" SEGMENT, 8/9/04 JOHN STUART: We begin tonight with current presidential race where for the first time in half a century the Democratic candidate is a decorated war hero - a thrice-wounded recipient of the silver star who pulled a wounded comrade to safety. And no, we can't have that, can we. (laughter) VIDEO: SWIFT BOAT VETS AD STUART: Yes, just one week after John Kerry's crewmates told of his heroism at the Democratic Convention, a group calling itself Swiftboat veterans for Truth - not to be confused with BTR-60 Armored Personnel Carrier Drivers for Public Decency - has released an ad attacking Kerry's record: VIDEO: SWIFT BOAT VETS AD ["I served with John Kerry. I served with John Kerry. John Kerry has not been honest about his record in Vietnam. Kerry is lying about his record.] STUART: A powerful indictment. Or rather, it would be had any of those guys actually served on Kerry's boat. See, by "served with him" they mean they were in Vietnam... at the time. (laughter) It's kinda the same way that Snoopy served with the Red Baron. Now, to be fair... at least one veteran in the ad, Dr. Louis Letson, does have a first-hand account to relate: VIDEO - LETSON: "I know John Kerry is lying about his first Purple heart because I treated him for that injury." STUART: Again, a powerful indictment. Or, rather it would be had the doctor's signature appeared anywhere on Kerry's medical treatment record. It does not. BUT Letson remains adamant the wound was only "...a small piece of metal sticking in the skin of Kerry's arm. The metal fragment measured about 1 centimeter." Now, why would a superficial wound like that stand out to a doctor who had I would imagine treated countless horrible injuries. The answer lies perhaps in the doctor's letters home, from Vietnam: VIDEO: Handwritten letter with music and voiceover Dearest Prudence, The horrors of war are as mild as they are terrible. Today I saw a wound so minor it made me question what kind of God would injure a man so superficially. Pray for me, Dr. Louis Letson (laughter, applause) STUART: You know, I wonder what someone who spent six years as a Vietnam P.O.W. would think of this ad. VIDEO - SEN. JOHN MCCAIN: "I condemn the ad, it's dishonest and dishonorable, and I think it's very very wrong." STUART: Mccain added, "Nevertheless.... I support.... George W. Bush for President. [heavy sigh]" (laughter) John Mccain called on the Bush Administration to condemn the advertisement which White House secretary Scott Mclellan promptly did, saying "The President is calling for an immediate cessation to all the unregulated soft money activity." (laughter) ... okay? That of course mostly a ploy to block a forthcoming Texas international Guard Reservists for Truth ad, featuring all the people who remember serving... with the President. IMAGE: George W. Bush, standing alone in spotlight.

CAPTION AND/OR PHOTOSHOP THIS

Hey look, Bush looks stupid eating corn! Just like Kerry looks stupid holding corn! Eating makes people look stupid! Hahahaha!

SANTORUM GAY?

Who knew! Looks like he's not constitutionally banned from marrying another homo for the time being. Quick Ricky, off to Massachusetts!

Senator Mark Dayton: (202) 224-3244 Senator Norm Coleman: (202) 224-5641 Urge them to: "Protect marriage equality for everyone --  Vote NO on the Federal Marriage Amendment."

GOOGLEBOMB NOW!

Go fuck yourself

Cheney

I know, it's childish. And really, I don't much care that Cheney swore, or that Kerry swore, though in vastly different contexts. But this is just too good to pass up.
[via Hammerdown and likesunday]

Meanwhile, in "OMG that's so gay!" news, Colin Powell Sings "YMCA" complete with hard hat. Ahh, the secret Jakarta diplomat cabaret, where a girl can really let her hair down. [via AMERICAblog]

July 3, 2004 at 02:16 PM in Funny Crap | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

CAPTION THIS, PLEASE

Via my favorite blog news-breaker, Stuart Hughes [interview]

July 2, 2004 at 03:26 AM in Funny Crap | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack

AMERICA... WE'RE GONNA MAKE YA SMILE

The Onion: The Patriot Issue - go now.

July 1, 2004 at 03:00 PM in Funny Crap | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

PREPARE 4 DOWNCOUNT

ELETRONIK - SUPERSONIK by Zlad! 5...4...3..1 - Offblast!

June 23, 2004 at 10:39 PM in Funny Crap, Music | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack

VOTE FOR GEORGE BUSH

... and Zombie Reagan! Bush/Zombie Reagan in '04

This is a play on GW's desparate attempt to ride on Reagan's coattails. Be sure to check out the ultrascary, ultraconservative Republican party platform in Texas.

June 10, 2004 at 01:58 PM in Funny Crap | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

OLSEN TWINS T-SHIRTS

Get horny at Superdecent.

May 12, 2004 at 12:17 AM in Funny Crap | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

WHAT, ME BLOG?

UPPER MIDWEST REGIONAL BLOG REPORT

Lane and Tina are ditching this joint for Canadia. For reals!

CHEEK's fave local TV-commercial icons. Mmm Fancy Ray, the fake Prince.

Pussy Ranch Jon saw the real Prince at Cheapo.

Lorika is posting, like, punk rock and praying mantises and shit.

Lorika's bday: May 6. Starfire's bday: May 7. My bday: Junetember eleventy-twelfth. LAND OF 10,000 PROLETARIATS

Shaken and Disturbed, true tales of a Mpls Starbucks barista in NYC.

Landmark Theater employees a-gonna unionize. Cinema Revolution!

More revolutions afoot: Camp Wellstone hits the Twin Cities soon and Al Franken may challenge Norm Coleman's Senate seat

Not local, but an essential new force for good: Media Matters for America MINI-GOTHAM FILM + ART ACTION

48 Hour Film Project finally hits the Twin Cities.

Melody Gilbert's WHOLE premieres on the Sundance Channel May 10. Melody has taught me well. Party @ fhima's.

Art-a-Whirl May 14-16. Possible impromptu art shenanigans in our garage.

FOUND: 2004 Senior Design Show. I'm on the advisory board and will be presenting an award May 12. I was astonished at the quality and quantity of good design work tucked away in the Goldstein Museum of Design. Stop by if you're in the neighborhood. ...is anyone else having extreme allergy horked-nose action?

May 4, 2004 at 01:36 AM in Funny Crap, Link Farm | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBack

AMAZING

April 20, 2004 at 08:15 PM in Funny Crap | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack