Bullshit Oh. My. God. I'm still reading this and picking my jaw up off the floor. Please standby. My response is in the original post. God save the Queen.

June 7, 2005 at 04:45 PM in Blogumentary | Permalink


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» Chuck Olsen Is The Devil! from MICHAEL VERDI
That’s the best joke I’ve heard all week. I’m speechless. Check this out. ... [Read More]

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» Blogumentary from Society Dome
[Lubbock, New Arkansas] The imposingly imaginary figure of one Mr. "J. Heart" (names have been drastically changed to protect the innocent and guilty alike) has become the toppled Goliath to Chork Olsun's David in a shocking drama that has spread [Read More]

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» 225 lb. Man with 38-inch Reach Makes Idle Threats from Society Dome
[Lubbock, New Arkansas] The imposingly imaginary figure of one Mr. "J. Heart" (names have been drastically changed to protect the innocent and guilty alike) has become the toppled Goliath to Chork Olsun's David in a shocking drama that has spread [Read More]

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» Is it 4:20 yet? from Straight Outta Frogtown
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» Blog Documentarians in Spat from Micro Persuasion
Apparently the 59 Bloggers documentary project I blogged about last week is no more - at least for now. The filmmaker and another documentarian are in a spat. Read John Hart's manifesto. I haven't been following this closely, but Ken [Read More]

Tracked on Jun 8, 2005 1:00:26 PM

» Is it 4:20 yet? from Straight Outta Frogtown
When I read this yesterday, I thought two things right away; Either this guy needs to smoke more weed, or this guy needs to smoke a whole lot less. It doesn't work right for everybody. I'm leaning towards a diagnosis [Read More]

Tracked on Jun 8, 2005 4:05:24 PM


I was willing to give the guy a second chance, but this is clearly the rantings of someone who clearly is unable to admit he made a mistake, even if it was unintentional.

To think that this whole thing could have been avoided had Mr. Hart bothered to type "blogumentary" into Google. His lack of research has led to many words being flung over the wall, some of which are clearly hurtful.

Posted by: camworld at Jun 7, 2005 5:12:34 PM

I played "O, Fortuna" from the Camina Burana by Carl Orff while reading this.

Now THAT's a movie!

Posted by: Eric Rice at Jun 7, 2005 5:19:12 PM

You may not be the devil but you are an immature little twerp. A documentary... about blogs. hAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, good luck with that.

Posted by: FZboy at Jun 7, 2005 5:23:09 PM

Send him a copy of the DVD, Chuck. Make it absolutely clear that you've done everything you say you've done.

Send me a copy, too.

Posted by: Matt at Jun 7, 2005 5:23:18 PM

Why couldn't he just admit he made a mistake?

Posted by: Duncan at Jun 7, 2005 5:51:34 PM

Oh my god. What an asshat.

I concur with Eric - "O, Fortuna" is a perfect soundtrack to his post.

Posted by: iguano at Jun 7, 2005 6:03:53 PM

Possibly the best line: ""It must be the size of his mighty penis that frightens all who dare oppose him."

Posted by: chuck at Jun 7, 2005 6:23:16 PM

I only managed to read the thing diagonaly, that guy is seriously damaged. And not worth your attention or concern. I´m posting a video soon, Blogumentary is International stuff. And all your doing Chuck.

Posted by: Miguel at Jun 7, 2005 6:36:23 PM

Of all the nerve...it's almost...funny. Wow.

Posted by: Sharyn at Jun 7, 2005 6:45:44 PM

That's amazing! I'd have more to say about it, but I'm too busy suckling at Chuck's pores.

Posted by: dvd at Jun 7, 2005 6:56:48 PM


Posted by: Chuck at Jun 7, 2005 7:02:11 PM

"but I'm too busy suckling at Chuck's pores"

Some guys have all the luck. Maybe I'll get in line...but I'm not sure if I'm a frenzied serpent, vile troglodyte, or a frothing bogeymen. Maybe I'm some mutant hybrid of all three!

Posted by: Sharyn at Jun 7, 2005 7:27:12 PM

I'm wondering if I have a conflict here. I'm contemplating a documentary on the dark underworld of the S&M scene and was considering calling it "Flogumentary." Chuck - if you have a problem with that I'll gladly change the name. haha

Posted by: iguano at Jun 7, 2005 7:46:30 PM

I'd prefer "Fuckyoumentary." :-)

Hey, Lorika responds to all of this in video form, if you know where to look.

Posted by: Chuck at Jun 7, 2005 7:49:12 PM

He's been reading blogs since December? Man, I'm so impressed! He's obviously quite qualified to make an interesting and not-at-all rehashing documentary of the topic.


The mentions of muses are a nice amusing touch, though. It almost makes him - wait, no it doesn't.

Posted by: Ciri at Jun 7, 2005 8:35:53 PM

Is this guy kidding?

I know life moves fast in the blogoshpere. But, let's be honest. The documentary world moves at a bit of a slower pace -- even for former Hollywood producers.

There is no way I believe that any legitimate funders would pull out of a project so quickly. As far as I can tell, you sent your first e-mail to this dude on June 2. Today is June 7. Securing funding for a documentary – especially one that, apparently, was to be shot in H-D (wow-eee) - takes lots of dealing and time and paperwork. No one on the funding end is going to sever that professional relationship in such a hasty manner. It’d be highly unlikely these "investors" would have even reviewed all of the highlights of these five days (yes, just five days) of correspondence – let alone have pulled the funding contract. Please. It sounds to me that this guy didn’t really have funding and just wants someone to blame.

Secondly, anyone who’s worked as a storyteller would be able to see that this turn of events could be melded into an interesting story about blogging and how the blogosphere works – for the good and the bad. He should be embarrassed that he’s not creative enough to be able to reshape his project. That’s what filmmakers do. Things change. The unexpected makes a good storyline.

Also, anyone who is working on a professional documentary (well, even people who aren’t) would have enough sense not to reply to work-related correspondence with comments like: Please don't bother me with this bullshit nonsense.

Posted by: blond girl at Jun 7, 2005 9:12:51 PM

Lucifer ... er, I mean Chuck,
Like Mr. Hart, I am also 6'7" tall, but I weigh at least 240, compared to his paltry 225. I get the feeling you're not the violent type, and I'm not either, but if you need someone to just sortof stand next to you as part of your mob of Chuckies, let me know.

Good luck with this. Seems like you've handled it as diplomatically as possible.

Posted by: clumsy at Jun 7, 2005 9:27:09 PM

yeah... i'm pretty sure there are/were no investors.
i actually have a pretty good source for that but
it's confidential.

we're also thinking maybe Mr. Hart suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. i don't mean that jokingly - lori was the first to suggest it, and it makes sense. i think he should seek help - there's no shame in seeking medical help, Mr. Hart, if you're reading this.

Posted by: Chuck at Jun 7, 2005 9:35:03 PM

I always knew there was a mystical force pulling me to Chuck's blog 3 years ago when it introduced me to blogging. Now I know it was the evil powers of the Dark Lord. That would also explain why all the neighborhood pets kept turning up dead....

Sadly, as a school counselor I look at people like Mr. Hart as job security. Afterall, they are bound to procreate. Their sperm is unstoppable because it is driven by madness. Madness I say!

Posted by: Tim at Jun 7, 2005 10:56:34 PM

Their sperm is unstoppable because it is driven by madness.

Tim, I don't usually say this -- in fact I never say this -- but you should write more poetry!

Posted by: Jonathan at Jun 7, 2005 11:28:52 PM

Holy goly moly man. This is a sequel-worth of dandy debate.

The guy's sick anyway. I am always wary of those who bring the holy penus into debates which involve life-and-death (of a film, of course).

How much funding did he manage anyway?!

Posted by: desoumal at Jun 8, 2005 1:20:18 AM

I may try to option Mr. Hart's post for my own upcoming feature.
It's sort of a Legions of Doom comic book story set in Biblical times. A bit of Michael Douglas's Falling Down meets Happy Days meets Land of the Lost. Some dialog scenes as extracted from Mr. Harts Script.

The archdiocese of LA has me backed financially, so don't blow this for me guys!! http://www.la-archdiocese.org/english/

"It must be the size of his mighty penis that frightens all who dare oppose him."

"I prayed for battalions of angel-warriors, but they did not come. I even called upon the name of St. Lawyer, and did beseech him to hear my cry"

"For I am but one man without the protection of angels who could grapple with this Chuck Olsen"

"bloggers who were expecting light to dawn, were suddenly blanketed in a deep shadow of evil darkness, and a sound so seductive, many could not resist."

"I was in a death match with the Antichrist and his Sons of Perdition, I reassured them that I had yet to wrap my fingers around the neck of The Evil One, but when I did, all would be well."

", with my six-foot, seven-inch, 225 pound frame, and 20 years of hand-and-kick fighting in dojos, streets, and posh clubs, cannot defeat the Chuck..."

"with my 38-inch reach and a power grip so tight it has slain jackals by the throat, cannot reach him."

"It must be the glory of the name Chuck Olsen that gives him power"

"It summons vengeance mightier than a mob on the heels of a child-killer. It cascades wrath over the blogosphere like blood roaring over Victoria Falls. Strike it from your vocabulary and teach your children well, for it commands the dogs of Hell upon the earth."

"And my right hand strikes at his throat like a Rocky Mountain rattler who's been rolled over by wagon wheels one too many goddamn times. Yep. The Internet sure has ruined them good ol' days."

"I am free to convert to the Dark Side."

"And so the devil came in disguise."

fade to black

Posted by: Brian D at Jun 8, 2005 1:27:23 AM

Brian: Get Affleck in there and we'll talk.

Posted by: chuck at Jun 8, 2005 1:40:22 AM

out of all the hate mail i've ever recieved, out of all the shit that's been talked about me on the web (and there's been a lot, no doubt!), i've never had anything so vemomous spit my way. i can hardly believe the ridiculousness of that assclown, and i tell you, if i EVER find out where he lives, i'm totally egging that guy's house.

but you have to admit you ARE a handsome devil, so maybe that's what he meant? i mean, he could have just forgotten to type in the "handsome" part.

if you're the devil, then i need to go have a pentagram tattooed on my ass, asap.

Posted by: receptionista at Jun 8, 2005 1:50:17 AM

p.s. i love you and don't think you're the devil. the more i read that guy, the more my tummy hurts and i want you to know that you aren't a bully, you aren't an ass, and he obviously doesn't know you. if he did, he'd know he's the asshat/devil/fucktard, not you.

Posted by: receptionista at Jun 8, 2005 1:55:49 AM

Bwahahahahahahaha! Rejoice in the Evil that is Chuckie.

Posted by: jonny goldstein at Jun 8, 2005 2:08:37 AM

It's funny, if Mr. Hart had simply responded with -

"Thanks for writing Chuck, I had merely mentioned blogumentary as a means to evoke what this film was about -- the working title is "59 Bloggers," and the film will not be called Blogumentary, please let me know if you have any further concern."

This whole thing wouldn't have happened. Maybe he had investors, maybe he didn't. The fact of the matter is, the guy went psycho on Chuck and we demonstrated just how much solidarity there is within this community. And now the guy's gone from sounding like a total asshole to a complete lunatic.

Posted by: Josh Wolf at Jun 8, 2005 4:11:45 AM

Mr. Hart certainly has difficulties with listening, engaging in dialogue and admitting guilt.

He's so extremely unbalanced that I can't help but laugh, but it's also kind of sad. I mean, what's this guy's story?

I actually tried to get his side of the story i n order to make
my post about this developing controversy
more well rounded, and I thought I was having some pretty neutral e-mail interactions with him.

I listened to his side of the story -- which happened to be a lot more coherent than his post -- but yet still a bit on the fringes. I tried to open up the dialogue back online to keep this out of the courts.

I was being honest when I wrote in a follow-up comment that I sent to Hart that he should've treated Chuck with more respect and use more tact and sympathy -- and that I didn't see any excuse for not doing that.

His response was to throw me into the category of "The Chuckies" who "rattled their keyboards" and made his investors bail.

Right. I'd like to see some proof of these so-called investors and ask them whether they left the project because of Olsen or because of Hart's reaction to Olsen. If there were any investors, I think we'd discover that Chuck was merely one of the symptoms of a much deeper disease.

And if anything, I was just as critical on Chuck for publishing the e-mail as I was on Hart from being uncivil. But when faced with admitting guilt for being rude, he goes on a rant searching for some type of justice from the blogosphere that he understands so little about.

I can also say that there are definitely some inconsistencies with what he told me privately and what he's said publicly.

Anyway, it's a bit scary to think that he might have actually thought that his rant was going to somehow ruin Chuck's reputation.

Posted by: Kent Bye at Jun 8, 2005 8:27:21 AM

I think there's more to his literary vomit than meets the eye. He needs mental assistance.

I think he's also peeved he didn't think of it first. ...God, how simple is it to Google something?

Posted by: Rena at Jun 8, 2005 9:37:24 AM

"I let this record stand as an indictment of Chuck Olsen and his word-terrorists"

I am worried now that Chuck will be sent to e-Guantanamo.

Posted by: rew at Jun 8, 2005 2:24:19 PM

Well the investors are just lining up for our projects! Dogumentary, wherein we follow around our flatulent black lab for a week; Hoggumentary, an in-depth look at Dukes of Hazzard enthusiasts; Blahumentary, an investigation into clinical depression; Mah-Jonggumentary, exposing the freakish world of Miami Beach retirees; and Documentary, an expose of the Xerox company.

Posted by: Tim at Jun 8, 2005 2:55:33 PM

Don't worry, Chuck, he may be 6'7" & 225 lbs, but I'm 6'7" and, um, more than 225, let's say. And I took karate for about 6 months when I was nine. I've never been in a fight or anything, but I'm sure if I were to be in one, I'd be totally freaking badass. Just give me a call (via Sharyn) if you need some protection. My rates are very reasonable.

Posted by: Dave at Jun 9, 2005 4:13:01 PM